Why don't we play hide and seek with our cleaning supplies? - Because the good ones are always in plain sight when you don't need them, and nowhere to be found when you do!, My vacuum cleaner doesn't just collect dust... - it's gathering dirt on me!, I asked my husband if he could make the bed, and - he said he’s not sure what the recipe is., Doing laundry is like doing magic tricks: - Now you see it, now you don't... and now it’s shrunk!, I'm not saying my house is a mess, but one day - archaeologists are going to have a field day here., Why did the mop break up with the bucket? - Because it was tired of being dragged around!, My idea of a superpower is - being able to clean the house in under 10 minutes before guests arrive., I used to play sports, then I realized you can buy trophies. - Now I just do housework for the same effect., Housework is - Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity., Cleaning with kids in the house is like - like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos., I’m not saying I hate housework, - but I definitely think my vacuum cleaner has been gathering dust., Why don't skeletons fight each other at home? - They don’t have the guts for housework., My house isn't messy, - it's custom designed by a toddler., I finally figured out the secret to a clean kitchen: - Never cook., Why did the broom get a poor performance review? - It kept sweeping issues under the rug!, I don’t need a big, fancy house. I just need - somewhere to put my huge, fancy pile of laundry., The best part of home cleaning is - finding money in the washing machine. It's like a reward for all my hard work!, They say cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. - I say it's more like trying to brush your teeth while eating a chocolate bar., My cleaning style ranges from, "There appears to have been a struggle" to - "Wow, it looks like humans can actually live here!", Housework can't kill you, but - why take the chance?,

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