Why did the cookie go to the doctor? - Because it felt crummy, and mom knew just the right recipe to make it better!, What did the mom tomato say to the baby tomato during a family walk? - "Catch up!", Why don't scientists trust atoms anymore? - Because they make up everything, just like my brother's excuses for not doing his chores!, What do you call a family member who tells dad jokes but isn't a dad? - A faux-pas., How does a penguin build its house? - Igloos it together, just like we do when we work on family projects., Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? - Because he was outstanding in his field, and dad said he could be anything he wanted., What did the big flower say to the little flower? - "Hi, bud!"—the way grandpa greets everyone at family reunions., Why did the bicycle fall over? - Because it was two-tired, just like mom after a family road trip., What did one plate say to the other plate? - Dinner's on me tonight," which is dad's favorite line., Why did the golfer change his socks? - Because he had a hole in one, and grandma insisted on darning it., Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? - Because he wanted to go to high school, just like his older sibling., What do you call an old snowman? - Water, which is grandpa's favorite seasonal joke., How do you catch a squirrel? - Climb up a tree and act like a nut, something uncle always suggests at family picnics., Why was the computer cold? - It left its Windows open, and mom used it as a lesson about conserving energy., What do you call a fake noodle? - An impasta, a joke cousin always tells at spaghetti dinners., What did one wall say to the other wall? - "I'll meet you at the corner," the kind of practical advice dad gives., Why did the math book look sad? - Because it had too many problems, something my sister says about her homework., What did the ocean say to the beach? - Nothing, it just waved, like auntie's goodbye at family gatherings., Why don't skeletons fight each other? - They don't have the guts, a joke that always makes grandpa laugh., What do you call a belt made out of watches? - A waist of time, and mom says that's exactly what arguing with siblings is.,

jokes : family

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